“I am so grateful,” says the former Bachelorette, 36, who is also mom to Ricki, 17, Jennings, 7, Gibson, 6, Gatlin, 5 and Nola Belle, 2, withhusband Tyler Johnson. “But I’m still on my journey of processing everything. And I have to trust that it will all turn out alright.”

Indeed, Jones' arrival was anything but expected. Shortly after the delivery, Maynard Johnson learned that her son was born with Down syndrome as well as a rare congenital colon abnormality that required surgery and a monthlong stay in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

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Emily Maynard rollout

Absorbing the fact that her son needed to stay in the NICU and wouldn’t be home for weeks was “devastating,” says Maynard Johnson. “I was just grieving all of it and that the experience was so different from what I had expected. Waking up the next morning hearing all the babies crying down the hallway while I was in the room alone, it hurt so much.”

Emily Maynard rollout

As they waited for Jones to be strong enough to come home (he has another surgery within a few weeks), Maynard Johnson leaned on her husband, and on herdaughter Ricki.

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“She’s been my best buddy through everything,” says Maynard Johnson. “When I was in the hospital she sent me 47 roses to represent Jones' 47 chromosomes.” (People with Down syndrome have an extra copy of the 21st chromosome).

Emily Maynard

And now that her son is finally home, Maynard Johnson says she’s relishing every moment with her “sweet and smiley” newborn.

For more from Emily Maynard Johnson and her new family of eight, pick up the latest issue ofPEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

source: people.com