Photo: Eric Zaun/Instagram
Avery Drost was the partner and close friend of Zaun, 25, and the pair played their final game together at the AVP New York City Open on June 9, two days before Zaun jumped to his death from his hotel room at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa in Atlantic City.
Drost, 32, wrote in a lengthy tribute onVolleyballmag.comthat in the wake of Zaun’s passing, he’s been “overwhelmed with sorrow” upon realizing that he “could have appreciated him so much more.”
“I keep looking at him and marveling at how special he was, how uniquely and wonderfully he was made, and realizing that just a few days ago he was right there next to me,” Drost wrote.
“His imagination was so big and his sense of adventure was so wild, he pursued the things he loved far beyond the limits most of us would be comfortable in. He so vividly envisioned a new and creative way to approach his life, that convention didn’t even occur to him.”
Drost continued, writing that while he loved Zaun, he “didn’t always understand” the athlete, and they sometimes did not see eye-to-eye.
“He operated on passion, and went hard in whatever direction he wanted to go in, and sometimes I imagined that he didn’t care too much about how that affected anyone else. Sometimes it bothered me,” he wrote. “I thought about some of the ways he acted largely in terms of how I was affected. But I didn’t always look deep enough to see what was happening inside of him.”
Drost said he now regrets the times he spent dwelling on the aspects of Zaun’s personality that he “didn’t understand” as opposed to “just enjoying my brother that I got to do life with.”
“I truly never imagined that he hurt so deeply, and when I got the call that he was gone, and that he had taken his life, I so instantly wanted to reach out and hold him, and I cried uncontrollably realizing that I would do anything to have one more chance,” he wrote.
Drost wrapped his message with a special note he wrote to Zaun, addressed to his nickname “Road Dog.”
“Thank you for being my friend and for touching my life. It was an honor to know you – I learned so much from you and my life is so much richer for having been near you,” he wrote. “I’m going to keep trying to play, and I know I will always be different for having had you as a partner and having felt the pain of losing you.”
Eric Zaun.Instagram
Drost’s wife Alyson, meanwhile, alsoshared a heartfelt tributeto Zaun praising his love for the couple’s daughter, Blake.
Zaun made his AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour debut in 2017, scooping up the rookie of the year prize.
Zaun’s final Instagram post featured a photo of him playing with Drost with the caption, “June is gonna be a good month.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
source: people.com
