Jay Williams.Photo:Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
Three months after the death of his mother Althea, sports personality Jay Williams is ready to share how he’s coping with the loss of his mother during a “really hard” year for his family.
“It’s been such a blur,” Williams, 41, tells PEOPLE of the months following April 9, when his mother passed away on his son Zane’s birthday.
“The last two and a half months have been really hard for me. I’ve gone through crazy hours watching NBA playoff games, I have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, an 8-month-old, and my wife that’s gone through some challenges work-wise due to the economy,” says the former NBA player whose career was derailed after a motorcycle accident over a decade ago.
“I’m not the only one going through pain. I’m not the only one struggling with life,” says Williams, who hopes his vulnerability in sharing his story will help others.
“Over the last two years, my mom had been in and out of the hospital a ton, and I’m talking about extensive stays for multiple months at a time,” he says.
Jay Williams and his mom, Althea.Jay Williams Instagram
Jay Williams Instagram
Among Althea’s diagnoses, “She’s had two kidney transplants, diverticulitis that went septic, anti-congenital heart failure and her kidney functionality was really, really low,” Williams explains.
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“My dad’s one of the strongest people I know,” says Williams of his father David. “There was a part of both my father and I kind of expecting her to bounce back again because that’s always what she had done.”
Althea Williams.Jay Williams Instagram
After a difficult conversation with doctors, “it just really hit me and my dad,” says Williams.
“My mom didn’t want to be somebody that was going to be on dialysis for 24 hours a day in order to stay alive. And she had written that in her will, and that’s not what she wanted to do. And then next thing I know, we have found a hospice place called the Hawk in Durham, North Carolina. And they were transporting my mom the following day.”
The date of his mother’s death also falling on his young son’s birthday was emotionally challenging for Williams, but he’s ultimately found meaning in the date’s significance. “Not only was it my son’s birthday, it was my mother’s mother’s birthday, my grandmother’s birthday,” he says.
“And that was the day with my mom and my dad holding their hands. I watched my mother take her last breath.”
Since that day, Williams says his father is doing “just as well as expected” after having been “in caretaking mode” for years. “I think it’s been hard for him to have time alone,” says Williams.
Jay Williams.Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock
Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock
Now that he’s had a few months to process the loss, Williams predicts the anniversary will be very emotional in the years to come. “It’s going to be really hard for me to mourn her on the day of her passing because there’s going to be so much celebration with my son. And every time I look at my son, they are forever intertwined.”
The father of three is proud to be open about his emotions, especially pertaining to his family. “I know that I was the strength for my mom, and I know that when I look at my kids and my wife, they are my strength and I want to be the best version of myself for them because legacy is all we have.”
“I want my kids to grow up seeing a dad that is vulnerable, a dad who gets knocked down, a dad who can cry in front of them, but also a man that’s going to get up each and every day and continue to strive to be the best form of himself. Because at the end of the day, that’s all we have to stand on.”
source: people.com
